Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Overshadowing the War in The Middle East is the fact that people who are paid to pretend are getting into real life trouble at work and after work.

First, you have Lindsey Lohan. My son confirms that not only is she an actress, but she is also hot. Being an actress and hot are not a given. Case is point: Bea Arthur, who, bless her heart, was born as a sixty four year old man.

Lindsey is also young and rich. It is a bad combination to combine youth, money, and hotness because that usually means one thing: old, broke, and pathetic in ten years.

Lindsey likes to party because she is young, hot, and rich and this is causing her to be late to her well paying job of pretending at movie studio.

Well, her bosses did what all bosses do: they wrote her up.

You are not an adult unless you get written up once in your life. I was written up once because my wife had a baby. That is the truth.

Basically they said, Look we know you are hot, but come on, quit partying and get to work so you can show the world whatever talent you have.

Lindsey, has issued, like, an apology, but basically it came out as "whatever" with her eyes rolling up to the ceiling.

Another person paid for pretending that got in trouble this weekend was Brother Mel Gibson.

The last time I read anything about Mel was a critical comment he made about President Bush. I don't think it is news if a Hollywood star criticizes President Bush. Call me if someone acknowledges that he might be right about something. I figured Mel was just trying to get back in everyone good graces because of his last movie, The Passion Of The Christ.

In case you have forgotten about it, The Passion Of The Christ was about the crucifixtion of Jesus and was supposed to make us clodhoppin' Southern Baptist go out a russle us up some Jews to beat up because of what they did to Jesus.

I thought it was a very moving, if not bloody, movie and it moved me to appreciate what Jesus did at the cross.

There were reports about Mel's father being a Nazi, but I didn't hold that against him. I mean, my Dad was a Democrat but that did not make me a John Kerry voter.

Well, it looks like that in this instance, the apple did not fall far from the tree.

Mel was pulled over for a DUI in Hollywood, which would get him kicked off the deacon board in most Baptist churches. Then, for some reason, he began asking, in very UnChristian terms, the religious affiliations of the police officers. Believe it or not, it went down hill from there.

He made some nasty comments about Jews. Blaming the Jews for everything. You know the drill: war, gas prices, reality TV, the works.

He has issued an apology. He basically said that it was the whiskey talking and that he did not mean all of the mean things he said about Jews.

After the apology, some people said it wasn't enough. Mel then issued another apology in which he basically said that you could come over to his house and spit on him. Even with this, some people were not satisfied.

Lost in all of this was the fact that Gibson was driving while drunk. I guess being an Anti Semitic
lout is worse than being a drunk driver.

The ' 06 Elections Could Be A Hoot

Last week Georgia Republican and Democrats made their way to the polls to select the men/and or women they want to represent their party in the General Elections in November. Perhaps you heard of it. It was not just a vote about Ralph Reed.

To hear the media tell it, this election was all about Ralph Reed. Reed has that clean cut image of a guy that won't let you borrow his notes in school. Why he wanted to start out as Lt.Gov of Georgia, I never quite figured out, because the only person I remember using that office as a stepping stone to bigger and better things was Sen/Gov. Zellbert Miller.

Reed's opponent was Casey Cagle, who I thought was either a NASCAR driver ("Here's Casey Cagle in the WalmartKmartQuiktripTacobellZaxbysfriedchicken Dodge" or a kid that was on my son's third grade baseball team ("Casey Cagle, quit picking your nose and get in the game!")

The New York Times, with all the news fit to print, was really interested in this race because Reed is an Evangelical Christian and you know how they tend to spoil discussions about the great need for protection of the Snow Moose in Alaska with abortion talk.

Reed had a ton of money which he used to have local celebrities call my house asking me to vote for him. John Smoltz called me asking for my vote! It is hard to turn down John Smoltz because he can still throw a fastball about 400mph, but I voted for Cagle anyway. Maybe if Reed had Smoltz come to my house, things might have been different.

Gov. Sonny "Sonny" Perdue won his primary battle easily and will face Lt. Gov Mark Taylor. If this was a foot race, instead of a politcal race, I think Gov. Sonny would easily beat Taylor, because, let's face it, Mark Taylor is a "big guy".

"Big guy" is politically correct way of saying Mark Taylor is a whale. You can't have a TV commercial say, 'Vote for Mark Taylor, He's Just Big Boned" or "Mark Taylor: Don't worry, he ate before he got here". "Mark Taylor: XXXL".

To hear his commercials, Taylor is one of those politicians that likes to take credit for anything good that happens. Krispy Kreame doughnuts-Mark Taylor thought that up.

He strikes me of a type of politician that you find mainly in the Democratic party, but is not limited to it: The Pizza Politician. He would promise a pizza for every citizen on Friday if he thought it would help him win the election. You would still have to pay out of pocket for your bread sticks.

Gov Sonny is a type of politician that you are not quite sure what he does or doesn't do. I do know that he neutered a dog last year, I guess trying to show people that he really is Gov. Dr.
Sonny, the former Vet. Neutering animals is a talent that often goes overlooked in an election year.

Summer's Almost Over (Again)

Loudon Wainwright III is probably best known for his haunting ballad "Dead Skunk" but he has another song that has stuck with me for 30 years now. It is called "Summer's Almost Over"

Summer's almost over,
fading like a tan.
Summer time is running out
like an unplugged fan.

Our summer has gone quickly.

We went to a Rome Braves games the Sunday before Memorial Day. The Rome Braves are the Class A affliate of the Atlanta Braves. A great seat in Rome costs $10. Rome played the Columbus Catfish that day and I kept score for the first time. Keeping score makes you focus on the game instead of everything else. Rome won. Their shortstop is an 18 year old named Elvis. Honest.

In June, Ben went to church camp and Lori and I did what any Deacon and his wife would do: we
went Las Vegas. Our Las Vegas trip is another post, but I will say that it is the only place I know of where people smoke inside and drink outside.

In July, we walked in the Marietta 4th of July parade as a "friend" of John Crooks, who is Minister of Getting The Bills Paid at RSBC and he is running for a seat on the Cobb County school board. I think John had about 100 "friends", with maybe six living in his district. It was fun walking in the parade.

The primary election was last week. While John received the most votes, he did not get over 50% so he is in a run-off with the incumbent, who for some reason, does not return phone calls to the Marietta Daily Journal.

Other than that, this summer has been hot. The Braves have been hot and cold. "The Pirates Of
The Caribbean" was so cool it was hot. My new air conditioner is cool. My truck is hot because my air conditioner in it doesn't work so hot.

Summer just doesn't last long enough.

Summer's Almost Over

FAQ

What is your name? Alan Manis

Where were you born? Marietta, Georgia

When were you born? 1959

Where do you live? Marietta, Georgia

Don't get out much do you? Nope, however I did go to school at Louisiana College for two years,which is in Pineville, Louisiana. Some kids run off and join the circus, I ran off and joined the Baptists.

Married? Yes, for twenty years to Lori. She's hot.

Where is she from? Marietta, Georgia

Gosh, what is it with this Marietta, Georgia? Not only that, but we both were born in the same hospital and we both graduated from the same high school, Wheeler.

Kids? One, a fifteen year old named Ben. He is the typical fifteen year boy, that is, almost legally retarded.

Occupation? I work for a large hospital based health system.

What Do You Do? I ask people nicely to pay their large hospital based health system bills.

How Long Have You Done This? Almost four years. Before that I worked a health insurance company that serviced a very large automobile maker.

Religion? I am an Evangelical Christian. I am a Southern Baptist. I am a Deacon at Roswell Street Baptist Church. I am the person that scares the editorial board of the New York Times.

What Are Your Going To Blog About? Just about anything and everything. I may blog about politics one time (I'm big on campaigns) and I might review a movie on another. I am also a Sunday School teacher (9th graders) and so I might have an announcement about some special
event. Ben is also playing football this fall, so I'll write about the Mighty Mustangs. It'll be kinda of like the alley behind Hank Hill's house, except nobody will be drinking beer (see previous question).